Top 5 Reasons I Should Interview Billy Joel

I've been watching videos on YouTube of Billy Joel interviews and master classes to prepare myself for his upcoming concert at Wrigley Field... because you can never be too well prepared. (And because if I wasn't watching Billy Joel videos I would have to be doing laundry, washing dishes, or otherwise cleaning house and generally doing stuff I really don't want to do.)

And it occurred to me that I should try to wrangle a personal interview with Billy Joel.

I mean, why not? I'm an up and coming blogger with a readership of literally fives of people (on a good day). I'm working on those numbers and fully expect that any day now I could reach – dare I dream it? – tens of people!

And, I mean, why not? What's the worst that could happen? (Besides being slapped with a restraining order. Really? How much farther away from Long Island could I get than Iowa? In a philosophical sense, anyway.)

Face it, worst-case scenario: the answer is no or I get no reply. Please. I'm a mom. I'm used to people ignoring me. It's like they sing in South Pacific, “If you don't have a dream, how you gonna make a dream come true?” (Or have an reason to reference “Happy Talk”?)

After much thought, here are my Top 5 Reasons Billy Joel Should Agree to an Interview with Me:

1. I'm cute and spunky. Who doesn't like cute and spunky? (Besides Lou Grant from “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.” And he doesn't count, because he really did like Mary.) Obviously I'm spunky because despite the fact that an unknown blogger has absolutely a snowball's chance in hell of landing an interview with Billy Joel, I'm going after it! And obviously I'm cute, because spunky people are always cute. (And I have great legs. Just sayin'.) And I have a great sense of humor. Obviously.

2. I'm fresh off a 3-day return engagement as (acting)Editor of the West Liberty Index weekly newspaper (circulation: more than my blog), so my interviewing and writing skills have been re-honed to my previous razor-sharp editorial... razor-sharpedness.

3. I am the kindest, gentlest interviewer you will ever encounter. In my brief but fabulous tenure as the Arts and Entertainment Editor of the Iowa City Press-Citizen, all my years at the Index and the West Branch Times --  heck even as a high school teacher, speech coach and speech contest judge – I have never made anyone cry. And a few of them deserved it, believe me.

4. Talk about a softball interview! Who doesn't like to be set up for a guaranteed success every now and then? Not that Billy Joel needs to be set up for success. You don't get much more successful than what, a bazillion sold-out concerts in a row?

But he has, in the past (as I learned from those YouTube videos) had issues with reviewers and critics. With me? No issues. None. Nada. And it's not because I'm on the take (or would be swayed by his presence, talent, or general adorableness). It's because I'm a genuinely nice person (who happens to be a cute, spunky, talented writer with great legs).

5. The timing is perfect! Billy Joel is going to be in Chicago, I'm going to be in Chicago (because Billy Joel is in Chicago). Unless I get lost on the way there, in which case Billy Joel will be in Chicago and I'll be God only knows where swearing, crying and generally making a scene. Vegas odds are not in my favor; but if I do make it, I could be in the chips!

Do I really think I'll get to interview Billy Joel? No. Do I really believe anyone will read my email request? No. But this little exercise broke my writer's block (and provided divine-inspiration for my dual-language summer camp story lead).

And writing this was a hell of a lot more fun than doing the dishes.