Thursday, July 30, 2015

A (Bath)Room of One's Own

Four people. Four weeks. One bathroom.

We've started a master bathroom remodeling project which has left us with just one bathroom to be shared by four people, for four weeks.

Let me run those numbers by you one more time.

Four weeks.

Four people.

One bathroom.

Put another way, that's four people sharing access to one shower and one toilet... located in the same one room... for four weeks.

Sure, we're forced to share one bathroom between the four of us when we go on vacation. That may be why we don't take more vacations. And why we've never gone on vacation for longer than one week. 

It's only been one day and already I'm considering voting someone off the island. This is truly the most horrifying season yet of Survivor: Suburbs. Outwit (how many evening meetings can I attend?), Outplay (time limits on showers!), Outlast (cross your legs and for God's sake don't sneeze!) – indeed!

The Princess will be leaving soon to spend a week and a half at the state fair for FFA, and she's getting a little nervous. While I know I'll miss her, all I can think of is: "that's one less person using the bathroom!"

Four people, one bathroom... for approximately four weeks.

Let's face it. Remodeling projects never go as quickly as planned, so "four weeks" is really a best case scenario. And deep down I know it will be worth it when it's done. And it wouldn't take nearly so long if we weren't doubling the size of the bathroom. Instead of barely being able to turn around in the shower, someday (in four weeks) we'll have a custom-built shower big enough to (in the Princess' words) “wash a horse” in. Not that we would, but we could.

Of course that extra space comes at the expense of our closets, which won't be replaced until after the bathroom remodeling is done and the new addition is built. Two people, no closets, how many months? But I can only obsess about one thing at a time, and for now it's the lack of a second bathroom.

One bathroom, four people, four weeks.

I know there are many families – with more members – who share just one bathroom all the time. I know there are probably still people who share just one outdoor privy.

I've heard the horror stories.

I get it.

This is a first-world problem I'm experiencing here. I've become accustomed to a certain level of civilization and bathroom access, and by golly, I'm not ready to give it up!

To all you single-bathroom sharing, multi-player households let me just say it's not a competition, people.

Misery may love company, but it loves having it's own bathroom even more.

1 comment:

  1. Growing up: 9 people, 1 bathroom. As a result, "I can pee in front of anyone".

    HOWEVER - as we remodeled MY bathroom and I had to share with Jim divorce was barely averted. 2 people, used to their own bathrooms for the previous 3 years FORCED to share 1 bathroom? Not a pretty sight.

    4 people sharing 1 bathroom? I've heard stories, but never met a survivor.

    Best of luck, my friend.