I may or may not have ACCIDENTALLY hacked into someone else's email account.
Most likely not.
And if anyone wearing a black suit and sunglasses, and carrying a badge and flashy-thingy starts asking questions, definitely NOT.
I mean, come on! On more than one occasion I have been unable to switch on an “intuitive” Apple-brand computer.
In fact, I think I can say with almost 98% certainty that I did not ACCIDENTALLY hack into an email account for jsalemink. And yes, there are a surprising number of jsalemink's out there. Apparently. At least there are if you are consider the number of times I have been denied the use of “jsalemink” as a user name. I know of at least 2 others also living in Eastern Iowa. And that may be pertinent to the story....
You see, we recently switched cell phones and cell phone providers, and I tried to back up... something... (Photos? Contacts? Plans for world domination? Scratch that last one, NSA) to a “random letter that may or may not be G-” e-mail account for transfer. Or something like that. ( Really, the fact that I can't remember what I was trying to back up, why or where to ought to count for something here.)
I was pretty sure I had, at one time, created this account for some (totally legit) reason. I just couldn't remember what the password was.
Or the answer to the security question.
Or why the heck I'd chosen that security question.
It let me change the password anyway.
So, like, if I did ACCIDENTALLY hack into someone else's jsalemink email account, it's almost Totally. Not. My. Fault.
No reason to worry, right?
It's just that when I gained access to the account there were only four other emails, besides the “Welcome to your new blank-mail account. Two were in Definitely. Not. English. (The other jsalemink's I know speak English. Almost entirely. I think.)
The third said “The phone number associated with this account has been changed.
The fourth said “Welcome Back! Jsalemink.”
So... Upside? If I did hack into some other jsalemink's account, they probably don't (-ish) speak English.
And they weren't using the account very often, so by the time they do use it again, they will have forgotten their password, and their security question and/or answer and they will have a new cell phone number and THEY will think they've hacked into someone else's email account.
Which they will have done. Ish.
And that's what I'll tell the Men In Black.