Saturday, March 2, 2013

This Blog(ger) for Sale

I read another article today about how manufacturers are reaching out to “influential mommy bloggers.” This time Bloomberg News reports that Mattel was plying these IMBs with a brunch buffet in a “penthouse suite at Manhattan's Royalton Hotel,” complete with mimosas and bloody marys.


What part of Sandwich MOM on Wry @ BLOGspot-dot-com do you people not get?

Just because I can't get my own family to do anything I tell them doesn't necessarily mean I am not influential. It's just that they can't be easily influenced. I like to think of them as independent thinkers.

According to this article Mattel was, basically, teaching these women how/why little boys like to play with cars because the Mattel representative said (get this) “Mom 'has never played with them.'” (meaning the cars, not the kids, I hope).

OK, so maybe I was a little overqualified to be in this test group. It would take a whooooole lot of mimosas and bloody mary's to get me to sit in a room full of women who never played with toy cars. Where did they find these women? How many rocks did they have to turn over to find even a single girl who didn't “understand why cars... and smashing and crashing are cool.”

On the other hand, if someone offered me bloody marys, mimosa, and brunch at a fancy-schmancy Manhattan hotel penthouse suite I'm pretty sure I could develop sudden onset amnesia. Hot Wheels? What are Hot Wheels?

Nope. Never heard of them.

Never played with them. Stepped on them. But never played with them.

Boy's toys are ucky.

Editors note: “Boy Toys” are another matter entirely, which brings me to my second gripe about this article: The accompanying photo showed some sweet, young, female thing (who really needed a bigger tank top) demonstrating a Hot Wheels track at the American International Toy Fair. If you really want to get Mom's attention, let a shirtless Channing Tatum hawk your wares. Of course, if you were smart enough to figure that out, you'd be smart enough to sign me up as one of your “influential mommy bloggers,” too.

But I digress.

My point is, I need to get me some of this product placement action.

I could do a fair and honest review of your product. Honest I could. And if an honest review isn't what you're looking for, well... we could still talk (I like my margaritas on the rocks – wink, wink).

I know my blogging schedule has been a bit... erratic, but really, I'm trapped in a vicious circle of your own making! If you would just slide some of those time saving (!), effort saving (!) and/or fun (!) miracle products my way, I wouldn't be spending so much time (!) and effort (!) on cooking/cleaning/entertaining/other chores and I would have more time to blog about your time saving (!), effort saving (!) and/or fun (!) miracle products.

It's a win-win situation.

I've even read about a couple blogs in which the blogger has Oprah-like giveaways of the products she has received and enjoyed (!) from the manufacturer. In my humble opinion, free giveaways are just a gimmick to buy (influence) your audience.

And I'm perfectly OK with that.

In fact, just to show how generous (influential) I can be I would like to promote a local business (I'm not opposed to receiving a few freebies, hint hint):

I'm willing to give away one free (isn't that the same as “give away”?) cupcake from Molly's Cupcakes in Iowa City to the first person who responds to this blog.

But hurry! Supplies are limited!

In fact... I think supplies are exhausted. But I could give you a slightly used Molly's Cupcake box.

Just give me a minute to wipe the frosting off the keyboard.

And if you are a representative of Molly's Cupcakes inquiring about product placement in this blog, think chocolate... and lots of it.